Constantly striving to be perfect - to achieve the impossible and everything that falls under your self-imposed standard is simply not enough. Your self-image crumbles with disappointment and anger when you can't live up to your own expectations. All your hard work, progress and learning are long forgotten because all you can hear is your mind screaming "failure" at you.

These are characteristic reactions of someone with perfectionist tendencies.

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What is perfectionism?

According to the Association of Psychologists in America, perfectionism is the tendency to demand an extremely high level of performance from others or oneself, beyond what is required.

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There are three types of perfectionists and two types of perfectionism:

• First, there is the socially prescribed perfectionist. This type of perfectionist is characterized by the individual's tendency to believe that the environment around them expects perfection from them.

• Second, the other-oriented perfectionist expects excellence and perfection from others.

• Finally, the self-oriented perfectionist sets high standards and goals for themself.

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Specifically, the self-oriented and the socially prescribed perfectionists are more prone to develop more significant depressive symptoms. These types would be classified as "unhealthy" perfectionists or also called maladaptive perfectionism. People in this group tend to set unrealistic goals, be more critical of themselves and others, constantly revisit past mistakes, and have difficulty making decisions. This is due to the fear of failure that often accompanies perfectionism. Healthy perfectionism, also known as adaptive perfectionism, means being focused and driven, setting realistic goals, and working to achieve them without fatigue.

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So how does perfectionism link to social media?

Perfectionism and social media are two concepts that have become increasingly intertwined in today's digital age. As we scroll through our feeds, we mostly see carefully curated images of people living seemingly flawless lives. Everyone tends to post only their best, happiest moments. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing our own lives to these "filtered" lives and feeling like we don't measure up. This constant exposure to perfection can have a profound effect on our own self-esteem and standards of success, leading to a relentless pursuit of perfection.

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Furthermore, social media platforms often reward and promote perfectionism. Likes, comments, and followers serve as a form of validation, and the pressure to maintain a certain image can be overwhelming. This constant need for external validation can fuel maladaptive perfectionism and make it difficult to break free from the cycle of comparison and self-criticism.

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On the other hand, social media can also be a powerful tool for promoting adaptive perfectionism. It can inspire us to set goals, pursue our passions, and connect with like-minded individuals who share our values and aspirations. By following accounts that promote self-acceptance, authenticity, and personal growth, we can cultivate a healthier mindset and redefine our definition of success.

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How to deal with it?

In order to combat the negative effects of social media on perfectionism, it's important to cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness. Recognize when you're falling into the comparison trap and take steps to limit your exposure to triggering content. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that no one's life is perfect, no matter how it may appear online.

Consider unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of comparison or inadequacy. Follow accounts that promote positivity, authenticity, and self-acceptance. Surround yourself with content that inspires you and lifts your spirit.

Embrace the process of growth and learning rather than fixating on the end result. Focus on progress rather than perfection and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.

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Ultimately, social media and perfectionism can have a complex and intertwined relationship. It's up to us to navigate this digital landscape mindfully and consciously choose the content that uplifts and inspires us. By fostering a sense of self-acceptance and embracing imperfection, we can reclaim our power and cultivate a healthier relationship with social media and ourselves.

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Sources: 

Randy O. Frost, Richard G. Heimberg, Craig S. Holt, Jill I. Mattia, Amy L. Neubauer,

A comparison of two measures of perfectionism,

Personality and Individual Differences,

Volume 14, Issue 1, 1993,

Pages 119-126,

ISSN 0191-8869

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Fatemeh Ghanbari Jahromi, Ghasem Naziri, Majid Barzegar,

The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas,

Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences,

Volume 32,2012,

Pages 141-147,

ISSN 1877-0428

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Sandoiu, A. (2018, October 12). The effects of perfectionism on mental and physical health. Www.medicalnewstoday.com. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323323

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SURFconext - Select an account to login to Maastricht University - Hosted EZProxy. (n.d.). Engine.surfconext.nl. Retrieved August 10, 2022, from https://www-sciencedirect-com.mu.idm.oclc.org/science/article/pii/0191886993901812

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Ruggeri, A. (2018, February 21). The dangerous downsides of perfectionism. Bbc.com; BBC Future. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180219-toxic-perfectionism-is-on-the-rise

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‌Messinger, H. (2019). Dis-like: How Social Media Feeds into Perfectionism – PR News. Pennmedicine.org. https://www.pennmedicine.org/news/news-blog/2019/november/dis-like-how-social-media-feeds-into-perfectionism

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‌APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Dictionary.apa.org. https://dictionary.apa.org/perfectionism

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‌The Perils of Perfectionism. (n.d.). Www.youtube.com. Retrieved August 10, 2022, from https://youtu.be/ix6m4vD9KD8

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The Problem With Perfectionism. (n.d.). Www.youtube.com. Retrieved August 10, 2022, from https://youtu.be/g8pti-Swh_E

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